I realize I’ve not brought this blog up to date yet which may make this post seem confusing but … I wanted to post about a recent encounter with my EX. Sigh. A few days ago, he’d asked me to take our son on an evening which I don’t normally have him which is perfectly fine for me but he wanted to “make-up” the lost time by adding another day to the following week. Mind you, this would be a no-brainer for “normal” co-parents but my EX has never, ever allowed me the same luxury. Being a full-time student for the past few years, I have been forced to ask him to watch our son for me on occasion. Never, in spite of my requests, would he allow me to “make-up” that time so I thought to myself,” well, let’s not deviate from the pattern we’ve established” and told him I would take him but there would be no make-up days. Suffice it to say, this sent him into a ‘stomping his feet, steam coming out of his ears, temper tantrum’ which produced multiple emails that were cutting and derogatory. As usual. As Oprah would say, I had an “ah-ha” moment and realized that I did not have to continue receiving these nasty emails so I just simply blocked him.
Well as one could easily predict, my EX began creating new email addresses with the hopes of getting through with his vile venom. I’ve cut and pasted an excerpt here:
“WHEN YOU LEARN TO STOP LYING AND TRYING TO CONTROL AND MANIPULATE PEOPLE, THEN MAYBE THINGS WILL CALM DOWN. I WILL BE FORCED TO COMMUNICATE THROUGH YOUR HUSBAND IF YOU HAVE MY EMAIL BLOCKED. YOU NEED SERIOUS MENTAL HELP PER THE THREE THERAPISTS REPORTS TO THE COURT. I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO PUSH FORWARD WITH THOSE REPORTS AND LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW ABOUT YOUR DEEP SEEDED MENTAL PROBLEMS. SO EITHER COOPERATE OR LETS GO TO COURT AND LET THEM DECIDE WHO GETS CUSTODY BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY WILL DO. I HAVE TOLD YOU OVER AND OVER I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO BULLY ME, YOU HAVE MET THE ONE PERSON IN THIS WORLD THAT WILL STAND UP TO YOU AND YOU DONT LIKE IT. TOO BAD! DEAL WITH IT. IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE EMAILS I SEND YOU BECAUSE I AM BLOCKED THEN THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, DONT COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT GETTING THE INFORMATION. ALL COMMUNICATION TO ME IS TO BE TO MY EMAIL”
My EX prefers to use lies, conjecture and underlying threats of taking my son to control me. (Never had any diagnosis especially by three therapists.) He was like this while we were married and guess what? Eight years later, he’s still going strong. Does this bother me? Of course. Occasionally I feel the swell of frustration well up and I want to bang my head against a wall and scream at the top of my lungs. I don’t. Instead, this time I blocked his emails.
Two days later, I receive an email from guess who?? The EX. This is strange because all the email addresses that I’d added from him over the years, were mysteriously missing from my blocked list so his email got thru. My husband and I have long suspected that he has been breaking into my email accounts off and on for years and now I feel certain that he has again. I changed my password one more time and added the addresses to the list. One. More. Time. I’ve long given up asking why and need to really start asking HOW. How do I keep dealing with this without losing my sanity? How do I put higher boundaries up? How do I insulate myself and my family from the pervasive barrage of abuse? Anyone dealt with this and if so, any tips?
No comments:
Post a Comment